The OFFICIAL "You might be a Hacker if...." thread!

[RAIDER]

On the "old" FFF I started a thread titled "You might be a Hacker if...".  We had an absolute blast posting a variety of traits.  I doubt there has been another thread that caused us to laugh more.

I stayed with the "old" FFF until the ship totally sank.  I was blindly loyal right to the end.  When I joined the "new" FFF an imposter had started the same thread.  It's piracy I tell you, blatant piracy!

After seeing some discussion of the Hacker Thread today, the Binaca has started to flow once again.  I stood outside of Smellin's office for hours to receive counsel.  With tears streaming down his face he said, "RAIDER, destiny calls".  It's like I have received fresh oil.  It has become my duty to once again start the OFFICIAL "You might be a Hacker if...." thread!

Old timers, I need your help.  Let's see how many traits you can remember.  Newbies, you can add a fresh dimension.  Let me see your work.

Hacker Nation, let's do this!!

 

[Smellin Coffee]

YMBAHI...

...you stand in line for hours for less than 2 minutes in helping you decide to make a decision you would have made anyway!

 

[RAIDER]

I will start with what I feel was possibly the funniest trait on the old FFF.  It was originally posted by Smellin.

YMBAH if....

your wife's intimate apparel includes blue denim and lace.

 

[Smellin Coffee]

YMBAHI...

...you consider the tears about precious souls came from vapors to floods!

 

[Smellin Coffee]

YMBAHI...

...you start a Catholic church across the street so you have another church you can preach against.

 

[Smellin Coffee]

YMBAHI...

...you leave 6 inches of space between the floor and office door so children can slip peanut butter cups and pennies underneath...

 

[RAIDER]

YMBAH if....

On the day of your wedding you refuse to put your arm around your bride in the pre-wedding picture because you would be closer than 6 inches and you weren't married yet.

 

[Smellin Coffee]

YMBAHI...

...you have men walk you from the office to the pulpit, even though your church attendance is about 40 people.

 

[RAIDER]

YMBAH if.......

You refer to your church as the "Old church downtown" even though it is new and in the country.

 

[Baptist City Holdout]

YMBAH if...................you read an announcement for a wedding and say this couple come from two of our finest families..... and only twenty people attend your church.

 

[RAIDER]

YMBAH if..........

you've turned your best friend in for  reading his Bible past curfew and later he thanked you.

 

[RAIDER]

YMBAH if........

you have no idea that you have the right to vote "No" in a church business meeting.

 

[Smellin Coffee]

YMBAH if...

...in an effort to help an elderly congregant to stop smoking his pipe, you counsel him to put Binaca in it instead of tobacco...

 

[RAIDER]

YMBAH if......

you ever prayed to God that He might delay the rapture until you got married so you could have sex.

 

[RAIDER]

YMBAH if..........

you are going to teach a class on Biographies of Great Men and you include a chapter on yourself.

 

[Smellin Coffee]

YMBAH if...

...you listen to MacArthur on the radio, steal his outline and then preach against him as a heretic...

 

[Smellin Coffee]

YMBAH if...

...you put mirrors in the back of your sanctuary so it appears more people are in attendance...

 

[RAIDER]

YMBAH if........

you honestly believe that clinical depression can be cured by baking chocolate chip cookies.

 

[RAIDER]

YMBAH if.......

your only family vacations are church conferences.

 

[Smellin Coffee]

YMBAH if...

...you put K-beams in your new auditorium building project even though you don't have a balcony...